Parents Zone

Get rid of inferiority complex with 4 tips to build children’s self-confidence

Get rid of inferiority complex with 4 tips to build children’s self-confidence

Written by: Director of Curriculum and Training, FQ Education Association
Mr. Johnny Kwan

Parents always hope that their children can become optimistic, positive and confident people. But today, there are more and more children with psychological inferiority complex. How should parents deal with it? In fact, to build children’s self-confidence, you can refer to the following 4 methods.

  1. Find out the cause and prescribe the right medicine.
    Many children’s inferiority complex is not born from nature, but is caused by adults’ improper teaching. Some psychologists pointed out that many primary and secondary school students have weak self-awareness and often evaluate themselves based on adults’ opinions of themselves. Even if they have independent opinions, they are often one-sided.

Therefore, during this period, if teachers and parents improperly evaluate children’s abilities, it will hurt the child’s self-esteem and self-confidence, and easily cause the child to develop a sense of inferiority. Moreover, some parents criticize their children’s behavior a lot and nag them all day long. This kind of excessive evaluation can also cause their children to have a sense of inferiority. Some children will develop an inferiority complex due to poor academic performance or poor physical health. Therefore, when a child develops an inferiority complex, it is important to first analyze the cause.

  1. The requirements must be appropriate and the evaluation must be reasonable.
    When parents help their children overcome their inferiority complex, they must understand their abilities and levels, make appropriate demands, and give reasonable evaluations. For example, if some children fail all exams, parents can first ask them to pass a certain subject. If the child meets the requirements, parents should give affirmation and encouragement before making further requirements.

During this process, parents should not worry about their children’s recurrences, and should not act too hastily. They should affirm their children’s hard work, patiently analyze the reasons for their children’s recurrences, and encourage their children to go all out. Only in this way can children see that they are making progress step by step, see the achievements they have made through hard work, enhance their confidence, and overcome their inferiority complex.

  1. Broaden your horizons and increase your knowledge
    When children with inferiority complex are related to their similar lack of knowledge and short-sightedness, when children of similar age get together, some talk about everything and talk vividly; some know nothing, are speechless, and have no knowledge. Children will naturally feel inferior when compared with others. Therefore, parents should consciously enrich their children’s knowledge, broaden their horizons, and improve their various abilities.

Parents can guide their children to read, take them to visit, etc., so that their children can also feel that they have knowledge, ability, and even no worse than others, so that they will gradually eliminate their inner inferiority complex.

  1. Use magical methods to encourage
    Parents help their children overcome their sense of inferiority, and the most important thing is to respect and protect their self-esteem. For example, when a child’s test scores are unsatisfactory, parents should be considerate of their child’s mood, put themselves in their shoes, help their children analyze the reasons, and formulate measures rationally, instead of being emotional, sarcastic, sarcastic, blaming and complaining.

Criticism often has little effect on children with inferiority complex. On the contrary, praise and encouragement can often achieve unexpected results. Therefore, when children make progress, parents should praise and encourage them in time; when children have problems, parents should also affirm the positive aspects. This will not only help them rebuild their confidence and overcome difficulties, but also enhance the relationship between the two generations, which can be said to kill two birds with one stone.





Parents Zone

What is the right time for a toddler to lose his temper? 6 tips to help young children control their emotions

How to treat when toddler has temper tantrums? 6 tips to help toddler control their emotions

Written by: Child Psychological Development Association, Psychological
Counselor, Mr. Ching Wai Keung

“Happiness, anger and sadness" are emotions that everyone has, and children are no exception. During the epidemic, parents who work from home and spend a lot of time with their children will naturally have to face moments of tantrum of children. We need to understand that it is very important for children to be able to express their anger in order to develop their autonomy. When a child enters early childhood (around 2 to 3 years old), the developmental crises are “Autonomy vs Shame & Doubt. What we should deal with is the child’s behavior due to emotion, not prohibit or even deny the child’s emotion. To help your child control his emotions, you may refer to the following six tips.

Imitate parents’ expressions of anger

In addition, anger is a common emotion, not only for children, but also for parents. When children try to express their anger, they will use their parents as an object of imitation. When parents are angry with their children, or when parents argue with each other, children will use these behaviors as an important reference for expressing and controlling their emotions (Bandura, 1977). Arguments, malicious taunts, and even violence between parents can heighten a child’s sensitivity to anger and interfere with normal development (Cummings,Pellegrini, Notarius, & Cummings, 1989). Therefore, in order to reduce temper tantrums and control the emotions of children, parents must first pay attention

to their own ways of dealing with each other.

Use tips to solve problems. 6 tips to help toddler control their emotions

What other methods can help toddler control their emotions and reduce the intensity of anger? Berkowitz and Thompson have the following suggestions (Berkowitz, 1973; Thompson, 1990).

1. Ignore offensive behavior.
If the purpose of the child’s tantrum is to get a specific object (e.g., a toy), the parent should not give satisfaction to the child for the behavior, nor should the parent punish the child for the behavior, but should simply not respond.

2. Use of Emotional Corner.
Set up a quiet area in the home without any stimulation or attraction as a quiet area for the child. When the child loses his temper or acts inappropriately, arrange for the child to calm down in the emotional corner. This is not necessarily the same as reprimanding, but rather allows the child to soothe his or her emotions, just as if the child needs to go to the bathroom in an emergency, which is a normal need. If used appropriately, children may naturally go to the mood corner to relieve themselves when they are in the mood in the future, which helps them to control their emotions.

3. to awaken emotions that are incompatible with anger, such as compassion for the victim.

4. reduce exposure to situations or things that may trigger children’s tantrums: when children have not fully developed the ability to control themselves, reducing the chances of children’s tantrums is tantamount to reducing conflicts between parents and children.

5. explaining the consequences of the behavior.

6. examine the causes of the child’s tantrums.

  (Development Through Life, Barbara M. Newman, Philip R. Newman, Wadsworth, 2003, pp. 197)

The above-mentioned programs are designed for different situations. If a child acts violently towards others out of anger, parents can focus on explaining the consequences and evoking empathy for the victim. If he is angry because he wants to get an object, parents can ignore his negative behavior, etc. Secondly, the above options can be used in combination, for example, when the child has calmed down, the parents can explain the consequences to him again. In the end, of course, it depends on the child’s ability to choose a solution. For example, you spend 10 minutes explaining the consequences to your child before he can talk, it seems to only increase the conflict between the two parties. Once parents have decided on a response strategy for each situation, consistency is the most important thing. Simply put, consistency can be broken down into two levels: First, the same solution will be used for the same behavior, so that the child is not confused by the ignoring strategy one time and the scolding the next. Secondly, each caregiver will use the same solution, thus reinforcing the message to the child that “this behavior is inappropriate”.